This series is both a diary and a process of exploration into love and intimacy. It is made up of 22 images with a poem. They can be read as a single image + story, a start to end narrative or in the round where the audience can approach and read the stories in their own way to make up their own narrative flow.
Over the last few years, I photographed the beds I slept in while travelling. They are not styled, they are left as they are in the morning before I go to work, see friends orlay under the covers with lovers.
They are empty and devoid of any emotion. Sometimes I was alone sometimes not. Sometimes it is obvious, sometimes not. The dishevelled beds represent moments gone and love imagined within the confines of these hotel rooms.
This is about the space between worlds, the morning light between night and day when life presents us with desire and dreams.
For years, I attracted unavailable men. These men loved the adventure and the thrill but would never stay around for breakfast as they returned to their everyday lives. These men were lost in life, always in flux and in-between. Lost in divorce, relationships and the need for escapism.
Every man I let into my life, I was a secret. These men never entered my life, met my friends or family. You will never see any evidence of us. No posts, no likes, no celebration of our time together.
We existed only inside the hotel rooms. We made bubbles that were poetic, beautiful and loving. Yet, after each one burst I was left with less ability to remember what a true relationship looked like.
I lost my identity locked inside these bubbles. I have existed in-between. I built a life and a way to stay disconnected from finding real connection.
This story is about me not them. How I blew up my life by ultimately asking for something more of and for myself. I walked away from lovers & relationships that were not celebrated in the light and finally walked out to live in the open and to live the life where I am seen.